


Have I told you lately that I love you?

by orphan_account



Series: Put your records on. [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, Family, Humour, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 20:19:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3181817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One day in the Stark Targaryen household.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Have I told you lately that I love you?

**Author's Note:**

> Before I start, this is not from the same 'verse as the life and times of Jon Targaryen. For obvious reasons.  
> Anyway, do enjoy.

Rhaegar Targaryen really had questionable parenting skills.

Not that you could blame him really. I mean, how right could a guy turn out (even a high IQ one) with a schizophrenic father who was in the habit of beating, fucking, and eventually marrying his own sister? I mean, you really can't imagine things when your mum's your Aunt and your Dad's your Uncle can you?

Not to mention the fact they marry you off to a girl you barely know, who also happens to have been born with a serious heart defect. 

That, however, did not excuse him for his really questionable parenting skills. 

"Dad, Egg's got jam over the table cloth, again!"

"Dad, there's  _raisins_ in the muffins! I don't like raisins!"

"Dad, I'm gonna be late. Did you see my homework? You know, the one with the fractions? Dad!"

"Dad, what's waking the dragon?"

"All four of you, SHUT UP!!!!" Rhaegar roars. In his head. The mild mannered professor of medieval literature of the University of King's Landing does _not_ scream. Except under special circumstances.

("Dad's afraid of _spiders"_ Aegon had told his Uncle Oberyn in a loud, carrying whisper.) 

So instead, he does his best impersonation of Aerys, and fixes a mad stare at each of them. In turn. "What was that, children?"

It works like a tick.

Until the point where Dany starts screaming.

Dany's always been afraid of their biological father. (It would also explain a bit better how entirely screwed his family is, were you to mention that the youngest of Rhaegar's kids was actually his sister, and the only reason she called him Dad was because "Jon does it.") For all intents and purposes, Rhaegar considered himself fatherless and Dany considered Rhaegar her Dad. 

On the other hand, Aerys is at Duskendale mental institution, has been for four years, since he tried to set fire to Brandon Stark and his pregnant girlfriend Ashara. That, somehow, did not stop him from impregnating their mother at the grand age of fifty five, and while everyone agrees he is mad, everyone also agrees that Jaime Lannister was too quick with the tranquilizer. 

For some reason, Lyanna and Rhaegar find themselves deeply in debt to Jaime for accidentally putting Aerys into a medically induced coma. 

Goes to show. Never trust an eighteen year old intern with a high level schizophrenic. Not even for ten minutes. During visiting hours.

"shh shh Dany, don't cry." Jon tries to placate his sis- ahem, Aunt as everyone else decides to glare meanly at him. And believe it or not, for all of Elia's sweetness, both of his older children had gotten her brother Oberyn's mean glare. 

It was scary how all four of them could talk impeccably, what with Dany being three, Jon being four, Egg being six and Rhae being eight. And somehow, the only person who had them all under control was the lovely Lyanna. 

The lovely Lyanna, who had left him alone with the kids last night because "Cat's in the labour room and Ned's freaking out so me and Ashara are heading north. I'll be back in time to pop the tots off to school."

Apparently, that meant after breakfast, and that Rhaegar had to take care of them for the morning. 

Rhaegar rubs his temple. Hard. He should never have had three children. Definitely not. 

Scratch that. He should never have had any kids at all. 

He should have just... married his harp and his music and got over with it. And yet, he'd gone and got himself married to Elia Martell while falling in love with the lovely Lyanna only a year later. 

"Dad," 

"What now, Aegon?" 

"Your hand's in a puddle of jam."

"What? Oh Shi-era Seastar!" he's quick enough to cover up his slip. Rhaenys looks curiously at him.

"Don't you mean shit?"

"Shhhhh!" Jon says loudly. "You can't let Dany hear that!"

"Why not? I'm just as old as you are Jon Snow! Why not?"

"Umm..."

"Shut up! Anyway, Iggy's right. You  _do_ know nothing."

"I do  _so_ know something. And it's Ygritte. Not Iggy. Stupid Khaleesi."

_Thwack!_ Dany lobs a muffin at Jon's head. "You stupid crow!" She screeches, and for a moment, Rhaegar is afraid that she's channeling Aerys. 

 Of course, Jon being Jon, and being more than used to settling brawls between Aegon and Robb Stark, catches it in one hand and lobs it right back at Dany's face. It bounces off her forehead and Dany howls again.

"All of you  _please!"_ Rhaegar is almost at his wits' end. 

Really, next time Lyanna decides to hop out of the house for something or the other, he's going with her, kids be hanged.

"Can you not act like five year olds for once?"

"We're not acting like five year olds. Jon's four and Dany's three."  
"No I'm not! I'm four too!"  
"Shut up, fish face!"

"She's not a fish face! You're the fish face, Aegon Targaryen!"

"And you're a squash bum!"   
"A what?"  
"So yaaah!" Aegon sticks his tongue out at Jon and Dany.

"All of you, please  _shut UP!"_ Rhaenys shrieks overhead. Obviously unable to find her homework. "Stupid face Balerion must have eaten your stupid face homework." Egg retorts.

"Balerion isn't a stupid face, stupid face!" "Uh huh!" "Nuh uhh!"

"Is so!" 

"Is not!"

"And what have I told you about calling each other names, children?"

Relief. If Rhaegar's ever believed that his wife is an angel from heaven, now would be the first. 

Lyanna's standing in the doorway, wild hair jumping out of the loose bun at her nape. She looks slightly tired, but then again, she'd probably been up all night next to Ned. 

The children look ashamed. "You've said not to." says Rhaenys in a small voice.

"Quite right." She says. And follows up with a grin. "Goodness, you look like a right mess today! Egg, stop trying to lick the jam off the table, it isn't sanitary. Rhae, your homework's on the bottom shelf of the paper closet, and go get your hairbrush while you're at it, your hair's a mess. Dany, love wipe your face you've got muffin crumbs all over you and Jon, for God's sake stop wiping your hands off your trouser leg. It's filthy."

And immediately, and miraculously, all of them comply. Lyanna heads over to the table to help Dany with her face, while Rhaenys clatters up the stairs. ("One step at a time, Rhae! You'll fall on your head and crack your skull!")

"Mum," starts Jon, "Yes, pup?" Lyanna asks, pulling Rhae's hair into a complicated braid. "Is Aunt Cat okay?" 

Lyanna grins. "About that." She clears her throat. "Catelyn and Eddard have a new baby girl." She announces. "Pretty little thing, all red hair and blue eyes. Her name's Sansa, and we're going to see her on Saturday. If and only if you're good, though." The announcement is greeted with a series of cheers. ("I'm not the youngest anymore!" laughs Dany.)

Lyanna laughs, as she shepherds them out of the house and into the waiting school bus, which for some reason, Rhaegar had completely been unable to notice. She waves the children (read; hellspawn) goodbye and turns to look at him softly.

"Cat's new baby is such a darling. She'll be prettier than her mum, I'll wager. Why- Rhaegar Targaryen, what on Earth are you staring at me like that for?" she asks bemusedly, as Rhaegar strides forward to kiss the life out of the wonderful woman who'd taken over his life. She kisses back as fiercely, never one to shy away from a little affection. 

"Now what was that for, Rhaegar Targaryen?" She swats his arm fondly, as she asks him.

Rhaegar stares at her like he's never seen her before. 

"Have I ever told you that I love you?" He asks.


End file.
